Someone asked me 2 questions today…

1. ever thot of when u wana settled down?
2. r u optimistic or pessimistic abt meeting the right guy at the moment? 

My reflections?

1. My personality doesn’t really allow me to set a target which I cannot control the outcome of. This is something I feel I have limited control over, I guess. Yes, I can actively seek someone. Yes, I can make myself more visible. Yes, I can ask friends to intro me to more people. But, I still feel that whether 2 people can like each other enough to start thinking about settling down depends on more than the effort of 2 of them. Also… have seen friends (from school and otherwise) who plan and plan… target age 23, not married, revise target to 25. Still not married, revise target to 27 etc. My heart goes out to them. I don’t think I can survive that sort of emotional rollercoaster of giving myself hope and then feeling disappointed and then giving myself hope again

2. Am I optimistic? I guess I am. I’m meeting interesting people, and being a math major and mystery bluff, when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains,however improbable, must be the truth. So I guess, the more pple I meet, the closer I get to meeting the “right” guy? Anyway, how does one define the “right” guy or the “right” gal? and if you meet the right guy/gal, would you be the right gal/guy from him/her? hmm… this can really become a really long post… but anyway, I think I am optimistic…

But, having said all that, I think I am still enjoying singlehood. Why? I believe in living in the moment. Enjoy being single when you are single and enjoy being attached when you are. Hmm… the natural affordances of each stage in life (opps… does this signal level 14 is permeating my soul?? KY, u know what I mean :P) Further, I believe that there are things in life that cannot be “forced”, and r/s is one of them. (I seem to be unable to find a satisfying concluding statement, so I’m just verbal diarhorrea-ing… again… *opps*…) In any case, I guess, it’s to enjoy life, have fun, and to be youth of a better age 😛 (ok, I’m somewhat happy with this concluding statement if I try really hard to forget that I wasn’t an EL major and I haven’t been teaching EL for the past 5 years :P)


One Response to Thoughts…

  1. Anonymous says:

    Hmmm, maybe just to add a bit of my thoughts.

    Settling down is a common wish/thought of human beings. Animals also seek companionship : ). Unless you are severely traumatised, maybe you will have a different outlook in your life. So it’s normal. And I will always be thankful when people asked about singlehood questions, they are concerned for your wellbeing.

    Right person??? I think my own realisation is that the right person is the person whom you invested love in or you choose to fall in love with. A handsome man or a pretty lady may appear, but ultimately, you choose to like him or her. The strengths are exaggerated and the weaknesses minimised or accommodated : ). Conversely, you can also choose not to love a person, by minimising your contact and effort on the person – limited contact etc.

    There was this saying, to love is to put your effort in loving. Something along that line. Your search will probably be futile without putting in effort in loving or caring for the person. And if the person still doesn’t reciprocate, be THANKFUL. For he/she is a cold person and you are better off alone. Life would probably be worse off with him/her, when whatever you do are not appreciated. Don’t allow yourself to be “abused” by your love for someone. : )

    Anyway, being optimistic is a good trait. Every dark patch will be over eventually. One day, miracle will occur when you keep trying. I guessed, being a Math buff, you are the expert in probability. Every effort you try/put it, brings you closer to success. What is the probability of multiple failures??? Right? : ) Good luck. I don’t know if probability accounts for that. But it is always important to have it.

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