Vaguely remember a friend sending me a link about the X types of men a gal’s gotta date before meeting her dream guy… and heh heh… here’s my own… any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental…
Mr Loud
I’m sure you can hear him from across Singapore River… He’s the loudest of the party/restaurant, who insists of being louder than anyone else. Occasionally, you need to wipe his spit off your arm, as in the process of making his oh-so-important-point, he inadvertently shares his saliva (in addition to his views) with all those near (and not-so-near) him.
Mr Don’t-understand-English
Is age really that important? What if I’m just a bit older? Must I really be a degree holder? I’m actually in the process of getting my part-time degree now.
Duh… if it’s not important, I wouldn’t have listed it when you asked right? And if you don’t understand English, you may continue asking if 37 is A BIT older than 32… and if you don’t understand that you gotta be a degree holder, please wait on…
Another pet peeve? people who consistently cannot spell simple words or form complete sentences. Always feel like correcting them or telling/typing in… Subject! Verb! Object! or whatever’s missing… Can’t really understand why people can’t use the words they know how to spell/pronounce though… or when emailing, to use spell check… This is possibly due to my degree in E. Lang though…
Mr Opps-no-tickets
Not too sure what went wrong… but hey… trying to get tickets 10 minutes before a show does NOT constitute a well planned date. Neither does asking a girl to stand at a busy escalator in a desperate bid to get her to decide for YOU where to have dinner. Especially when YOU did the asking… If I don’t wanna do what you suggested, I will say so. No worries about that. Better than when I suggest something that you don’t like and the day ends up lousy right?
Mr Interviewer
This is a fairly common type… with questions ranging from… do you mind a guy who’s the only son? how many bfs have you had (note… this is like on the first date or over msn before meeting up. I do feel that it’s an important part of the past to be discussed before moving on to beyond friends)… Are you a v***** (those who asked this qn had no 2nd try, btw. But definitely should be discussed before going exclusive though)…
Er… I’m not interviewing for a job. Heck, I’m not even sure I want the “job” ok… oh please… like you’re so good that I’ve gotta satisfy some requirements before having the honour of chatting with you? Of being friends? Pleeze… just who do you think you are?
Mr Needs-to-be-counselled
I’m ugly and poor and have no car… I feel that I’m a failure in life… Girls can’t stand the sight of me…
Did I read somewhere that guys like confidence in girls? Ever crossed anyone’s minds to tell these guys that girls like guys who are confident too? And… I’m not your counsellor, yah? I mean… if we are friends, it’s no biggie… but someone I just met??? OMG….
Mr Earl Gray
This refers to the guy who has a pet topic and simply would not let go. From Earl Gray to dogs to some highly technical math to religion, I think I’ve met them all. It’s good to have a passion, but when you’ve gone on and on for like 2 hours and your interlocutor can only reply by nodding or saying “ah… ic…” or “hmm” or actually nods off, it’s time to stop. Serious.
This term also refers to those who try to prolong the date by asking me to a 2nd movie. Er… get a grip… we just watched one, remember? And if it’s already like 9+ or 10 at night, wouldn’t it mean that I’d get home like at 1 am?
Mr oh-my-dear-gal
I’ve met my share of this category too. After meeting up a couple of times or sms-ing a few times or chatting a few times, I’ve automatically told that I’m their “dear gal”/”dancing queen”/”girl”. Best, when I ask who’s their dear whatever, I’m told that it’s me and that I’m lucky?!?!?
Erm… I do hold pretty high standards and I’ll decide when you can call me that, k? Before that, we are in the category “friends” and friends just don’t call each other “dear” unless you’re my dear gf. Or unless you’re gay…
Mr I-don’t-remember-you-but
This is pretty rare… but I’ve met some at events where phone lists are passed around. A typical phone call goes like that
Guy: Er… is this XXX?
Me: Er… yes? Who am I speaking to?
Guy: Hi, XXX, I’m YYY. We met at this event on Saturday.
Me: Oh hi, YYY.
Guy: Er… I can’t really remember you, but you have a gmail account/an interesting email address/yada yada
Me: Oh really?
Guy: Yah… I’m wondering if you can send me an invite/have dinner with me/yada yada
Me: Er… okay… can we discuss later? I’m at work now…
Guy: Work? Didn’t you say you’re on leave this week? I thought I remembered that/
Me: Hmm?!?!?!?!?! (Red flag starts waving everywhere) Oh, I just remembered, I’ve got some very very very important projects coming up. Dinner is pretty much out of the question for the next 200 years
Do they think I’d miss the lie, huh?
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Hmm… as I type, I think of more examples… just a few short lines about the other types
Mr I’m-tired-so-I’ll-let-the-girl-make-the-first-move
Okie… please continue waiting… if you were the last guy on earth, I just might make a move on you… if you stop wearing that orange shirt and green shorts and that necklace
Mr that’s-5-cents
Yes, I believe in equality and pulling my weight in a relationship. In fact, I almost always offer to pay when out with a date. Sometimes, I would even offer to pay his share if I suggested the place and then upon meeting up, realise it’s above his budget. No big deal. It’s those guys who actually split it down to the last cent for a drink or a dessert or movie. Yes, I’m working, but especially on the first few dates, it’s pretty much a standard right? To show that he can provide for her? Oh well… modern chivalry is dead for them, I guess
Mr I’ve-everything-I-know-everything
I’ve had guys I don’t intend to meet a 2nd time who demand to see me home. And when I explain that my area is made up one-way-streets (honest! it’s not an excuse) and I don’t want them to lose their way, they say things like “oh… no problem, I’ve got GPS/my bike can go on pedestrian walkways” Duhz…
Mr I’m-not-good-enough-for-you
er… yupz… I know I’m from good schools… and most guys are not… but… did I ever say the guy must be from the top 10 schools in Singapore? Did I ever say that he must be a first-class honours/masters holder/PhD holder?
I know… yes… I know… some guys think that it’s a gentle way to tell me I’m not their dream gal… but this still puts me off, yes?
Hmm… tt’s about all from me for now… any comments, girls?